She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
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4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
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I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.