Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?