How is your vagina???
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Having a random hookup so left but love u
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night