oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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