Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
