Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
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That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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