in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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