So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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