Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.