And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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