I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
