Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
