girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
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