11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize