My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
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