I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
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