I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.