I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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