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i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
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