what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.