Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.