white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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