At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize