I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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