You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I think your dad took our porno
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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