I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize