You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize