I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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