i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
