u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
