it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
