I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Barsexuality is the new black.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
