I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize