i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize