I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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