your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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