Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize