I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize