he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
i think my cat just said my name.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.