4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
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I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
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I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away