Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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