What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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