How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
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All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
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It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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