is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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