I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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