I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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