now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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