Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
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Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
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she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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