that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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