all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
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