Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize