worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
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Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize