Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
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I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
So apparently I’m into choking now
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