youre lurking in front of me
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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