you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize