My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
