No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
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